If you don't give a damn about me and feel that I'm seriously getting on your nerves then fucking hell say it out.

I don't know why am I getting so pissed off and frustrated and upset about you and how you treat me.

I'd rather be fretting over my ambitions and my future than to get upset over someone like you who sees me as trash, smth disposable.

You think I'm throwing myself at you, but do you think I want to?
You think I wna get myself in such a miserable state?

Yes, I can't live without you.
And it's burning my innards trying to ditch this habit.

Damn.

I WANT A BOYS OVER FLOWERS POSTER.
SOMEONE GET ME ONE PLEEEEEASE
so that I can hang it in my room and look at it whenever I think of those people whom I don't want to.

Lol so desperate but who cares, my birthday's coming anyway. *Winks*

Happy birthday, Lee Min Ho.

It was on 22nd June.

I sense it.

You are keeping something from me.

Maybe you're not even trying to keep it from me because you don't see the need to.

I'm a nobody to you after all.

I hve no idea what I am in your eyes,

and I don't know where I can pluck the courage to ask you that.

Do I even stand a position in your heart?

I guess not.

I won't be surprised if you've got a girlfriend,

from how you're acting and all.

I asked you, were you doing project, you said no.

Asked again what were you doing, you said "nothing".

I'm not a fool.

I'm tired of trying to be optimistic all the time.

You've changed,

like how he did.

He was so nice to me, like you were.

And over such a short period of time,

I've lost 2 of my loved ones, thanks to their faded affections.

So sick of feeling sore,

of trying to decipher your thoughts,

when you don't even give a damn about mine.

My friends say, "You deserve better."

Maybe in your heart you told yourself, "Why am I stuck with someone like her?"

Yeah.

I guess you deserve someone better, with better looks, better figure, smart like you, and loves music like you do, who can discuss musical pieces with you and which note fits better, etc.

As a matter of fact, I'm clueless about your world.

Yeah, you do deserve better.

And that look in your eyes said it all.

Your look, ever so hollow.

As if you can't wait for me to get somewhere out of your sight and not meddle with your affairs.

Damn, will this resentment ever stop flowing?

Shall end my absence with Hyun Joong.

Last day of lessons, like finally.

Honestly there's no time to sit in front of the computer and do anything now, with that mountain-like pile of homework which I'm not doing and all the TV programmes.
I found myself glued to the TV nowadays. *Halo appears*

It's just a mere 4 more months to Os! How nice is that!? ...

Not one fucking bit.

The fact that I should hve spent this June holiday brushing up my weakest subjects and I hve instead spent it on the bed snoozing away and watching TV is something that certainly made me... panick.

Not that I don't wna do well but... Alright I shan't make up excuses for my own procrastination.

So many days of lessons that sometimes I found myself staring into space, thinking of you when instead I should hve been filling my mind with integrating velocity and all that related.

Maybe you've realized this before I did but we do belong to 2 very different worlds. You hve your own interest which I'm totally clueless about, and maybe that explained why we can't hit. I feel like a juvenile, trying to capture your attention all the time through childish means and ways and seriously... I feel stupid.

Well, perhaps your idea of an ideal partner is one who shares the same interest, who's as mature as you are, who's as tall as you are, who thinks as rationally as you are, who doesn't bothers you all the time and knows at one glance what you're thinking, who knows you inside out, who clicks with you... So many things I can think of that I can't fufil.

Your thoughts are extremely hard to grasp, you know?

Maybe 2 years or so down the road, everything we are now will just... vapourize.

All those pleasant memories we had will just be thrown to a little corner at the back of your memory lane.

But all in all, my feelings, it doesn't matter to you anyway, does it?

This is hilarious but I found myself filling my mind up with Kim Hyun Joong and Lee Min Ho whenever he strikes my mind and honestly it's not a good feeling...
Been too busy to think about other stuff actually.
I suppose he's perfectly fine with where and what he is right now, and no matter what I do or what I say, it doesn't bother him one bit.
I know I'm throwing myself at him, and every single time I told myself not to, only to end up doing it and then tell myself, "It's OK. He'll really see me and appreciate my presence one day."
But seems like that's more suitable to be thought of than to actually happen.

Well, with all that aside, it's time to settle down.
I won't say I'm washing my hands off you, cause I very well know it's impossible not to look in your direction all the time when you don't even realize.
You know how I feel.
You do, you're just ignoring it.

Jun Pyo & Jan Di

I just hope Chia PW decided to be a kind soul and let us off for the last week of holiday.
If not, we still hve to go back for lessons.
Damn.


Mr. Soo had been rushing Chemistry practical for the past few lessons and at the end of every experiment we would end up mixing a bit of every type of acid.

And Mr. Soo kept saying we're seriously a bunch of lab-deprived kids. As a matter of fact, considering that we did not even hve the chance to set foot on the lab building last year explains it all.

Going out for a meal with CFC on Friday, can't wait.

They say a new name gives you a new life.
So I changed my blog's name cause it was so dead.

No holidays till after Os.
Yay me.