He is so ahbeng with his friends so I shall be more ahlian too HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I shall be a friendly ahlian.
Can speak good inggeris de ahlianz.
iiex lurrbxx euus w0rxxz``
WTFCCB DAMN DISGUSTING HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Okay your friends are awesome k that's all I wna say and I wna know everything they told you about me (if any).

Shouldn't hve been so impromptu go and ask Mel out I'm sorry k I WAS JUST A FRIENDLY BITCH CANNOT IZZIT HUH.

Imma weirdo.

Friendly ahlian = Fucking weirdo. I is veli sad :(

Ok no I am not ahlian.

WOAH THIS POST SIBEH RANDOM LOLOL I CAN'T GO TO BED CAUSE MY MIND IS FULL OF YOU ASSHOLE AND YOU ARE NOT AT HOME :(





Okay enough of bullshit.





So I've further confirmed that relationships with your bf/gf and those with your parents are totally different things...

Firstly, you can say you love your parents. I can say so too. I love my mom.
But when I think of it, what is it about her that I really love about?
Her character? Fuck no.
Her temper? NB NO LA.
Her self-claimed open-mindedness? Sometimes but no.

Parents. We love them cause we grew up with them by our side. In any circumstances, ANY, irregardless of whatever other external factors, we'd eventually grow feelings for them and hence, this is the family bond we call it. Maybe this is the unconditional love people hve been going on about for ages and ages. But it also proved that in some relationships, we might not love the person because of who he or she is, but merely because we were made that way. We were born to love them. They brought us up, gave us shelter, and perhaps yes, that parental love for the children does exist. But vice versa? I'm not so sure anymore. Yes, I do love my mom very, very much. Not for her sporadic horrible temper or occasional generosity with me, but because she is my mother. It's that simple. I will weep during her funeral, because I love her. I curse and cry over her outbursts of menopausal syndromes on me, but eventually, yes I still love her dearly. I just wonder why.

I never liked feeling so emotionally vulnerable in a relationship, which is perhaps why I've been contemplating on going into a bgr for a long, long time until he showed up and there, I just fell in love. Too late to salvage anything. But this mother-daughter relationship is suffocating me... I just hate it when every single thing she says, I'd take them so seriously because they matter so much to me.
No, I don't wna feel this way.
I don't want her words to weigh a ton when the insults of others weigh nothing to me.
I dislike being so weak.
And as I try to detach myself from her, I fail time and again, because she's my mom.
There'll never be a way I can really be free from this bond, not that I want to but I just want things to loosen up a bit.
It's taking a toll on me.


And there he is.
No, I'm not your 17-year-old immature girl going all head over heels about a guy at this tender age and talking about love like I really understand what it is.
I might not fully, but that doesn't mean I don't at all.
To be honest, I'm really afraid.
There hve been too many failures, too many setbacks, too many rejections.
And this...
Even till now, I still find it too good to be true.
I am really happy being with you, and I'm sure I want this to last.
But wanting it to last doesn't mean it WILL last.
I'll do my best.
But at the same time I find it so hard to really open up to you,
because once I do that, I'll be reliant on you.
I'm afraid of that.
It's not your problem, it's mine.
Too many times reliance proved a wrong choice.
I love you, and I want you to be the one I can rely on too.
Well, maybe as things get more serious, we'll be better as one.
I really do hope we get more serious.
And be serious for a long, long time.