I wanted to feel responsible so I've decided to write this post as the summary of my Year 2009. Saw it on Tammy's page and it gave me inspiration hehehe. Shall treat this as a way to put an official full-stop to everything in 2009, and also to usher in my brand-new and hopefully, BETTER, 2010.

2009, I failed to be a good volleyball captain. I've always seen this as a very sensitive subject, but I don't see why I shouldn't open myself up now when everything is coming to an end. I know I didn't manage to earn all your respect because I failed in many aspects, I cannot lead well and I know that better than anybody else. I don't like to command, although that's what many ppl think I should do. To me, a team should be happy together, doing things on their own accord rather than being forced. I do not like forcing my teammates to do things they're unwilling to do because I dislike seeing the dismay on their faces afterwards - it hurts me. I'd rather just let you hve your way. I don't deserve this captain position in the first place because I know - ALL OF YOU should know - that there is someone else who deserves it more than I do, who contributed more to the team than anybody else, and who loved volleyball more than anybody else. So here, I would like to say I'm sorry to all my teammates of HYVB '06 '07 '08 and '09 and of course to you sweethearts of Szeting's batch, I'm sorry I didn't manage to bring you girls into the Top 4 of the West Zone division this year, and for failing as a leader and hving not carried out my duties well enough to suffice. But deep down I'll never forget all those hardship we went through together, all those out-to-kill-you trainings. They seem to tough now, as we think back, we might wonder, "Damn, how the hell did I manage to pull through that in the first place!?" We did manage to survive, because we know we hve a group of girls who're going through the very same ordeal as us, and who, just like us, wna play well and improve so we can bring the whole team's performance to a greater height. We laughed, we quarrelled, we hated, we loved, we cried, we shouted, but in the end it all boils down to the same old thing - team. I know a team sport is hard to perform well as the chances of someone making a mistake is multiplied by 6, this is the time we must learn to forgive. We always had some form of communication problem which I've failed to eradicate, which, in the end, it proved to be the main problem that undermined our team's performance. Yes, we may not be the most bonded team ever and we may even hve had internal conflicts, but who cares about them when none of this shit can ever, EVER erase or deny everything we've went through together? All these 4 years had been tough, and now as I think back I will miss the times. Those on court with Wuenny who never fails to scare the hell outta me when her temper blows, with YY who always needs a reassurance time and again to actually remind her how good a player she is, with Janelle who got so tensed her shoulders always stiffened (I wonder if you've noticed it yourself hehehe), with Meifen who has the most steady performance, with Kohser whose fighting spirit is second to none and Serli, you'll always be a part of us even if you don't want to, it's an undeniable fact :), and also with the then-me, who always puts on a sulky face when I'm scolded, because most of the times I get so nervous I just lose myself and played shit. Some left us halfway, it's okay. Because we know we worked hard not only for us to continue standing strong with their side-along support, but also for Ye Jiao Lian and Wu Zong Xian, and for ourselves. As we go our separate ways and may not stay in contact anymore, I do hope this chapter in your life remains one worth remembering and cherishing. After all, how many gets to be trained hardcore in volleyball at such young ages and still enjoyed it because we had a great bunch of girls alongside with us that numbed all the pain and hardship simply by their own presence and being their own, crazy selves? Hehehe. HYVB Aces, as always. :)

2009, I did my Os. This is the first time I cried so hard for an atrociously-done examination I couldn't believe I actually did that. In fact, I've pretty much screwed up most of my studies throughout these 4 years in secondary school. Nonetheless, I woke up this year and did whatever I could to salvage the situation and I really hope it isn't too late to mend things up. My mom and I did some planning about my future and it's comforting to know at least I hve some back-up plans, IN CASE I really ruined my own future.

2009, I made many new enemies and surprisingly, I AM HAPPY ABOUT IT. Ha ha ha. This is my favourite part. Let's hve an example: Ng Chin Xiang. This fella, I believe many of you will remember him as this fat ass who graduated from HYSS a few years back. Well, GOOD NEWS! HE SLIMMED DOWN! BAD NEWS! HE IS STILL AS UGLY! Because he argued with me over Sezairi winning the Singapore Idol so I totally deleted him from my friends list. Here's the story - When Sezairi (SS) won the SI, I got so pissed off so I typed smth offensive towards SS on my MSN personal message. Nobody gave a damn until this CX came and said, "That SS guy happened to be my friend." So I replied I don't give a damn about it, which is true. And by then his tone pissed me off alr. So he went on saying SS is really good and I told him, "Please, I don't wna argue with you." VERY RUDE MEH? And guess what he replied, "I don't wna argue with you." OMG HAHAHAHA DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HILARIOUS THIS LOSER IS. Hey CX, I don't give a shit if you're reading this because this whole paragraph is dedicated to you (see, it's even longer than my Os paragraph HA HA). In the very first place, I don't give a fucking damn if that SS is your friend. Did I even ask? Fuck you.
Secondly, you said that SS is really good. Yes, TO YOU. Please understand the fact that different people hve got different perspectives, one man's meat is another man's poison. Get it? I doubt you do, cause when we argued you still seem to be in denial. I'm not arguing against your beliefs that SS is better than Sylvia (which is wrong to begin with), just that your refusal to accept others' perspectives and your absurd motive to psycho and force and argue your way through just for ppl to hve the same mindset as you is simply FUCKING DISGUSTING, JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE HA HA HA.
And lastly, you said you didn't wna argue with me. OH PLEASE, I SAID THAT FIRST AND RIGHT FROM THE START I DIDN'T EVEN WNA TALK TO YOU, YOU INITIATED THE DUMB CONVERSATION FIRST. Seriously, who gives a shit if you think SS is good? Your friends? Your family? You know, it's not that they share the same opinion as you do, it's just that they don't wna say everything I'm saying right now IN-YOUR-FUCKING-FACE. I really don't need such disgusting beings like you in my life, maybe you think I'm a bitch too. Well, I am. So what? Does that deny the fact that you're as fugly and revolting too? No. So, we're on par. HA HA HA. And don't tell me, "Hve a good life". I alr hve a good life WITHOUT your presence, so please don't destroy this beauty. Always coming up with random "I miss you" and telling me so directly that you expect me to say I miss you too, even if it means I hve to lie just to make you happy, omg that was when we were still friends so I didn't tell you how random and irritating and shameless you were. Gosh. Thank God you're out of my life. One less friend is no harm, you didn't play a single small part in my life right from the start anyway. Woooooooo happy much. :D

2009, I did not fall in love.
I'm lying.
HA HA HA.
OH WELL... I can't talk about it cause he didn't allow me too, so no choice. Anyway, I got to know some of my male classmates a lot more this year and I'm surprised how mature they've got. Another good news :)
GIRLS, THROW ALL YOUR SORROW BEHIND, AND LOVE YOUR NEW LIFE AHEAD IN 2010, BECAUSE THESE GUYS AREN'T WORTH YOUR TEARS AND CONCERN AND HEARTACHE! LIVE FOR YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF! That's all I can say. Hehehe :D

2009, I DID A LOT, A LOT, A LOT OF SHOPPING. MY POSB SAVINGS DEPLETED LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. BUT NEVERMIND I AM HAPPY BECAUSE I GET TO LOOK NICE AND FEEL PRETTY WHICH SAVES ME FROM MY UTTERLY LOW SELF ESTEEM! Although only for a short while... I've been spending blindly, I'm completely aware of it. So now I'm waiting for PYK to get me the job so I can ease the spending a bit, so at least make up for the missing money in the bank account. My mom's still in the dark, hehehehehehehe :D

2009, I had a lot of crazy, absurd thoughts.
I wanted to smoke (OMG WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING MANZZZZZZ)
I wanted to get a tongue piercing (think of the pain *faint*)
I wanted to get a tattoo (LMAO)
I wanted to go clubbing (like some desperate bitch right. Nb)
Too many to remember but I think all these all enough to make my mom faint on the spot if she reads it omg can't imagine that DISASTERXZXZXZXXXZ.


All in all, I don't think I really liked the year 2009. I dunno why too. Oh well, it's gonna be over in approximately 2 hours. I hope for a new beginning! Hving countdown in my estate, everyone gathering by the pool, although by then the lights will be out. Gonna go swimming nauwzzz even though no lights :( OH WELL...


I LOVE YALL PEEPS.
FOR LOVE, FOR FASHION, FOR MONEY, FOR YOUR CAT, FOR MORE PRETTY CLOTHES, FOR HAPPINESS, FOR YOUR FRIENDS, FOR MORE MONEY, AND FOR YOUR PARENTS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE,

A HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR OF 2010!
And a new chapter begins. :)