In life, there are many questions asked and left unanswered.
Not that there is no answer, but we just simply chose not to.

When you thought everything in life was going well,
everything was going your way,
you smile at everyone with that confidence running ever so fervently in your blood,
you look at life so positively everyday,
and just suddenly,
everything seem to be moving so fast.

You look back.
Everything is a blur.
You try to make out the vague outlines from within the fog and yet to no avail.
And then you come back to yourself and thought, "What was I doing?"

Not that you blame yourself for all those falsely-portrayed confidence,
but now every single cell in you just felt that fatigue.
It happened all so suddenly, you couldn't catch up with the reality that you're being hit back to ground zero, hard.

You regain composure and realised...
You're but you.
Never did this fact change.
And it never will.
You look at yourself in the mirror, and wonder why people can succeed all the time and yet you see such an outcast in the mirror.
Then you thought, "Maybe I just need a little more confidence. Maybe I just need to hve a higher self esteem."

So you went out asking around, how do people walk the streets with their heads held high,
with that glow in their eyes that you could only envy,
with that ever-assuring smile that could make you sign a dozen insurance contracts on your own accord,
and to the end there is still no answer.

You talk to your friends, and they too said the same thing.
All these derived from your lack of confidence, and you need to push yourself to hve a higher self esteem.

And then you begin to wonder,
to hve such a pathetically low self esteem and confidence level,
is it your fault from the very beginning?
To feel so inferior by just thinking of the girl from your tour group whom everyone thinks she's brainy and beautiful and even your own stepbrother couldn't stop staring at her,
is that to blame on your own sensitivity?

As you try to figure things out,
you, again, ponder if all these are merely sporadic, or hve they been infesting your mind for all these years?
Are these merely woes of a teenager?
No, you thought, because you know this fact about yourself best that your thinking is mature enough to assess if these are typical teenage follies or really problems that developed from your very own self reflection.

You keep all these in your mind,
as you attempt to decipher your complex chain of thoughts on your own.
Your brain branches out like a web so rapidly, you got so overwhelmed, a moment with glee, and yet the other with unhappiness.
For a moment you hoped you were emotion-free.

You opened up, you tried to talk.
You hoped for understanding from your friends,
but people nowadays...
They do not care.
They pretend to understand.
This fast-moving society developed geniuses and also pretenders.
So many of them, you don't know who to trust,
you don't know who'll understand anymore.
You don't know if they'll listen to you and after you hung up the phone, they just turned around and cursed you for your stupidity and for wasting his/her time.

Friends... This word sounds so familiar.

When your only kin has found her new love,
and your stepbrothers don't give a damn about you,
you live with the fact that in this family of six, you hve no one but yourself to rely on.
No one will give you a comforting shoulder, only you yourself.
You'll pull through, you thought.
But sometimes you just can't make it on your own.

You find it hard to come to terms with all these you're going through,
but you believe that in the years to come,
as you mature,
you will realise that, this is life.
You hve to live it the way it is.

Sometimes in life we just need to crumble and fall,
and cry your woes,
because we humans are born to err,
are born to experience pain, however excruciating.
And from this pain, only will we realise that,
we hve only our very self to rely on.